The delicacy 'bagpies' is a corruption of 'bagpuss', as the pies were originally coloured in pink and yellow stripes prior to a Japanese buy out.

Parallelograms are just pentagons that have spent too much time in front of the telly and so are out of shape.

Prestatyn snails are the only gymnastic snails!

The ringtone on my mobile phone is John Cage's 4'33". Annoyingly, no-one calls anymore.

Boolbar] Are you quite sure that is not the one by Mike Batt that I have on my mobile? If you listen very carefully you can hear muffled cries of ecstasy as Mme. Cholet and Tomsk were ‘Wombling’ on top of the mixing desk while it was being recorded. This explains why the volume was turned down so low.