Oranges are the only fruit. Apples and bananas are just pretending.

Stiff Records folded after the creation of the floppy disk.

The Victorians suppressed the hitherto unpublished last chapter of the Bible after Revelations, where Eve wakes up and sees Adam in the shower.

There are silverfish who live in Barnstaple who are trying to steal my hair.

Yesterday, G.W.Bush officially announced to the U.N. that the U.S.of A. was no longer the most powerful nation in the world, but no one heard him as his P.A. wouldn't work.

I caused the US power outages - sorry! I *thought* a 3 amp fuse would be enough...

[blame] I know several people who want to talk to you about that. They wanted to present you with this marvellous sponge cake, although they also said that it wasn't very well cooked what with the oven being out, and they had to just do the best they could by breathing on it in shifts.

Methalated spirits are distilled post mortem from methalated humans.

[Dunx] Sounds lovely!