You can cure Alzheimer's by paddling in soup.

Clam chowder is highly explosive.

Porno for pyros mostly consists of naked flames.

This idea that you need some expensive "player" for CDs is just a con. Angle your CD correctly in alignment with the rays of the Sun and the whole solar system will resound to the beat of Roxy Music.

Contrary to popular belief, the Queen is deeply uninterested in her public and constitutional duties. She goes down the bookie's while official visits, state openings and protocol receptions are all done for her by a little man called Murgatroyd in a wig.

After downloading the latest up-dates (?) from Microsoft and having so much fun in so doing, I have to agree that this site has no humour at all.

I was flying by some men who were cleaning out ditches with Nanette Newman when she cried "Boolbar is a Fairy Princess". She grabbed me and tried to put me in a blender. When I protested, she said "but haven't you heard? Fairy liquid cleans more ditches".