It sucks, too, and should be bought by no-one.

George Gershwin started the second world war with Porgy and Bess.

"Courgette" is an intrinsically funny word, as is "Spain".

Whereas the words "pineapple, "turd" and "lobster" have no humorous content whatsoever.

"Moist" is the most unfunny word ever.

My workplace sent us all home this afternoon, owing to an unexpected plague of locusts on the fifth floor.

The sand from Weymouth's beaches makes an excellent lubricant.

Sales of KY jelly are falling everywhere in the world as tubes of Weymouth sand eat up its market share.

I have done all the floors in my house as replicas of the Giant's Causeway in Co. Antrim.

Quibbling has been outlawed for many years in Co. Galway due to the excessive amounts of KY Jelly required. Ardent quibblers are optimistic that with the plentiful supplies of Weymouth Sand coming onto the market that their quibbling days may not be over!

Civilisation fell at 4:17pm GMT today.