mc5 - ... so help me God.

I'm not hiding from customers right now, and certainly not listening to Just A Minute.

Projoy appeared on Just A Minute in 1998 as a late booking after Paul Merton caught Anthrax.

Sorry, that should have read "Paul Merton caught Anthrax Whirl of PantsMC."

Paul Merton chose his surname by throwing a dart at a map of Greater London. He threw a second one after getting only porno roles with his first name "Paul Cockfosters".

DrQu+xum

Zoë Ball had a love child with Tony Hawks.

DrQu+xum

That's utter Ball-Hawks.

Bob the dog

Camp America is a fairly accurate description.

Boolbar

Camp America is the worlds largest importer of tentpoles.

Dujon

Camp America is a euphemism for a field hospital set up to treat those troops with R.S.I. in the wrist.

Ibid

The buns in my kitchen are plotting against the loaves in the freezer.

penelope

Kate Adie has been despatched to report on the coup d'toast in Ibid's kitchen.

Thos

I have just invented a cheese magnet which can attract pickle

Thos

However, I have ruined my own invention by also creating the all-soap ploughman's lunch.

Projoy

My jars of pickle all just flew off my desk, politely waited until someone opened the door, then made off down the corridor.

Projoy

[Thos] Ah. Nostalgia! My father was an All-Soap Ploughman.

Dunx

The word "shallot" is too selfish to pass the sugar when asked.

Dunx

My brother's trampoline has been knighted for services to raspberries.

Dunx

I have a brother.

Dujon

None of the Brothers of whom I have heard are considered to be 'one of the lads'

Projoy

My broom is my best friend.

Bob the dog

Lost X-rated Shakespeare scripts include Price of Denmark II - More Gore at Elsinore, The Merry ****s of Windsor (in which Fellatio returns from Venice, Bottom reappears and the messenger has a big part) and Bagpuss.