Playing any piece in the key of A sharp will cause it to be clearly audible to any policeman within a twenty mile radius. This is why policemen's whistles are tuned to A sharp.
Barry White came 'round to see me this morning. He and his boyfriend Elvis wanted to borrow a cup of sugar. Without my permission he sang an impromptu version of 'I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you' by the Mouldy Peaches. When he got to the line Screwed up your face and did a little dance, Shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants I threw him out. I won't have that kind of nonsense going on in my kitchen No siree.
The Moldy Peaches are almost at the end of their career because of their extreme state of decomposition. As it stands they are currently reduced to playing only refrigerated venues.