mc5 - ... so help me God.

Animals are quarantined when they come over from the continent. This is to prevent the spread of babies.

Babies can actually learn to walk within 3 hours of birth, they're just too damn lazy.

For Christmas I was given a handy bag full of babies, which I use for hanging up clothes, weighting down paper and propping doors open.

Babies are easy to tell apart because they come in three varieties - Walnut, Haddock and Medicine Ball.

Oh bugger, that is true.

Oh bugger, so is that.

Oh bugger, so is that.

I think I'll continue posting in this manner, as I am sure I will receive hearty congratulations from all fellow contributors.

Celebrity update: Cro-magnon Man and Worcester Woman are to split. They don't say where to though.