Unfortunately, owing to an administrative error involving tea-cosies, my previous statement was true. I will now kill myself.

Also, if you run out of boot polish, vegemite or marmite is an excellent substitute.

I believe everything PaulWay says.

There will be another along in a minute

In a Tarot reading, the Three of Traffic Cones (also known as the Trefoil Earlobe in Boris's "Nomenclature of the Minor Arcana") means you will suffer second degree burns during a home torture accident. By contrast, inverted the card means you will gain fifteen pounds when you fall into a depression following an over-vigorous sexual encounter which ends in estrangement.