I'm happy Projoy has resigned.

And sod the troops. </lie>For anyone who has reached this page a-la Google; realize that all statements here are lies.<lie>

If your pet water dies, send me a cheque and I will send you a new one in dehydrated form.

Female pole-vaulters are all members of a secret shamanistic sect and practice the art of attracting rabbits by "bunny whistling".

There is no such thing as stair carpet.

'Smoking Crack' is the result of insufficient lubrication.

I still believe George W Bush is doing a fine job. We're a lot better off under him than we were under Bill Clinton (although I do have to say that Clinton has good taste in women.)

Fat German is an excellent lubricant.

A snorgle is a type of Kagool.

Bob the dog is a spoonerism of an Irish phrase, "dob the bog", which is skinny dipping in swampland.

A whole quart of stray water followed me home tonight.