I lied about doing a full house across the front page. There are games I do not understand. Instead, I streaked through Mornington Crescent.

Streaking is named after the Danish maiden Helena Strieker the first known exponent of the exhibitionist art form.

I keep pet water in a bowl in my lounge. Periodically, I take it out for a splash on the pavement. My last pet water dried up in the sun.

When my pet water dies, I will probably flush it down the lavatory.

George W Bush once accidentally flushed himself down the toilet. He was salvaged from the local sewage plant some hours later, though doubt remains even today as to whether they retrieved the right little shit.