Beagles are a cross between bloodhounds and eagles.

I'm not at all pleased that another lie game has sprouted up.

I'm a terrible liar.

God is made of marshmallow. This was proved by Thomas Aquinas (Summa theologia I a 8 i), but proved controversial in Spain in the late sixteenth century, when it was the cause of a rift between Jesuit and Dominican theologians.

In Warwickshire, Kippers are used as a form of currency.

Castigation can make you go blind.

In Rutland, five pound notes are eaten for breakfast, with a little butter.

Iceland is really made of ice.

My middle name is "Stegosaurus"

I find the problem with living inside a semi-detached leg is the noise from the knee bears.

I always drive at the speed limit.

"Breadmaster" is actually my name. I had a terrible time at school.

I had a terrible time yesterday - it was 93 minutes past pi.

The invisible man crashed his invisible car outside my house today. The police came to clear the crowds - "Move along now, there's nothing to see".

Neil Armstrong came round to see me today. He was completely stoned!