"My teenage son Clarence is 3'4" tall and prefers dressing in green tights as opposed to the traditional red of the Cringle family. I shall surprise him next Christmas with a strand of my DNA seeing as he does not possess one already."

SARCASTIC RABBIT returns to save Putney Bridge. Good Bunny.

Scientists have observed that coffee is 20-30% more spillable than tea.

I didn't just go to work for an HOUR of training. an HOUR. jings.

coffee must be stirred in an anti-clockwise direction, and tea always clockwise