I celebrate my birday by massaging my teeth with a mixture of lemon juice and salt, using a piece of aluminium foil.

after today's exploits, I think I might become a train conductor. it seems so much fun. in an unrelated note, i'm in love with all three of arriva trains wales, virgin trains and first great western trains.

Lay Lady Lay is a tribute song by Bob Dylan to an egg-bound hen.

Seagulls composed the main part of Gordon Brown's budget.

i have an unexplainable fear of bungelows

pelgis is so scared of bungalows, he(she?) won't even spell the word correctly.

Help help! Retail store fashion mannequins from Next and Burtons have just burst through the door and are shooting everyone with their hands! I reckon that the Birmingham wheel has been used as some kind of mega transmitter device by aliens capable of turning plastic into organic life forms and controlling them with the aim of annihilating humanity! Now where did I leave that bottle of cellulose thinners?