The County of Norssex if rather fed up with being overlooked by its better advertised sister counties.

Tere are, in fact, only twenty-five letters in the Englis alpabet. The letter " " is a myt.

Except in the word "the".

[maths] That's just so much hyperbolics. [/maths]

...would've been a worse option.

Trigonometry is all about sin and secs.

The invention of the car owes very much to the development of the hubcap which was first patented in 1789 and then stoodly idly for a century of so until somebody scraped off the rust and invented something for it to go on.

There are 36 species of cat including the tiger, the Iberian lynx and the caterpillar.

Because of an administrative error, the Kingdom of God is unable to admit anyone this week so anyone who dies must go to Hell, where they will be entitled to file an application to be considered for admission through the pearly gates.

Applicants are encouraged to do this before next year, when a strict quota system for immigrants and asylum seekers will be inaugurated, drastically cutting down on the number of entrants into Heaven.

Those who find themselves wrongly sent to Hell can expect an apology from the Prime Minister. In about 20 years time.

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to get into 10 Downing Street.

crapping is a sin

I've spent the last week on a boat. No swans attacked me.

I invented hens.

But I have the patent!

My real name is Jeremiah Disgruntled.

Ritual stoning of persons named Hywel was only banned in Flintshire in 1976. A loophole remains, however, so all you Gwilym's best steer clear of Mold.

Kentucky Fried Chicken are considering a move into more upmarket territory. Their new chains of restaurants serving deep fried meats from the Asian subcontinent will reportedly bear the slogan "It's finger Ling-Ling good".