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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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The RSPCA is a wonderful organisation and has taken steps to reduce the costs of euthanasia; they now employ people to scour the night-time streets in order to reduce the numbers of animals being admitted to their shelters. This ensures that your charitable contributions go further than ever before.
All babies should be microchipped at birth. This will not only save money on passports, drivers licences and topless go-go dancers but will rid television of silly forensic dramas.
I'm off now to dig up my own grave. There's nothing suspicious about this, I just want to make sure that the death certificate is correct.
Alcoholic poisoning? Rubbish!
The Caps Lock key was invented by Reuben C. Carrion of Fresno, California. It sold moderately well, but it was not until Carrion met Hatfield Sheiner at the World's Fair of 1854, hosted in the forests of Borneo, that he saw the potential for adding a second key to the keyboard - the "@". Through the valiant efforts of subsequent inventors, a tab and an ampersand key were added followed in the next ten years by the number and letter keys, to make the typewriter keyboard we now know.
I used to chuck spears for a living, but now I'm a hyena.
when all sixteen checkouts crash in the middle of a saturday lunchtime at *a certain well known UK-based supermarket chain*, it's very very funny indeed.
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Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord