Thailand has no welfare state.. so, the government don't tax the hookers, and let the money go straight through the love tunnel from buyer to source. Parts of northern Thailand now resemble Switzerland and Germany.. and that applies to the population as well.

I have descovered that car windows can be easily demisted with a jam sandwich.

Car windows are made of compressed pepper.

My car has no windows.........or doors or an engine, it is infact a Fredrick Murgotroyd perambulatory device (aka) a skate board...........FMP, its the only way to travel (apart from all the other ways of course!)

I have deduced by painful self experimentation that pepper spary does not make a good substitute for aftershave lotion, it does however, taste great with pizza and chips!

spary is the dyslexic form of spray...........I rest my cesa

I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK.

People are rich when they've got lots of money. People are poor, when they've spent it... on donations to the conservative party.

I like to wear odd socks. Today's are embroidered with a jaunty "Up With Bush" slogan.

If you can hold your breath for six minutes, you will have beaten that old habit.

cheese has finally been proven by leading scienfitic research groups as the major source of familial upsets over the festive period. This Christmas, all UK supermarkets, including *a certain well-known UK supermarket chain*, have agreed to ban its sale to anyone looking moderately cheerful, as it will almost certainly spoil what might have otherwise been an excellent Noel.