Although Mrs. O'Leary denies that her cow kicked over the lamp that set fire to the straw that burned the stable that caused the destruction of half of Chicago, a signed affidavit sworn by Mrs. O'Leary, states: "... at about 9 p.m. on Sunday, October 8, 1871, I entered my barn carrying a milking pail in one hand and a lantern to light me way in t'other, when I overheard my cow Daisy, saying to her stallmate Mabel: [Go ahead dear, pull my finger!]"
Ovaltine is made up of 2 parts Silica sand to 1 part house dust. If PVA glue is added (dose to be calculated using Windthropes rule of Stodge)It makes a great substitute crack filler, for Adobe brick houses!
Nikolai Tesla once ran an otherwise conventional car for 18 miles on molasses diluted with black coffee, which was why he was killed by agents of the petroleum industry.
An estimated 92% of the world's counterfeited goods have at some time passed through the paws of a Panda. These seemingly innocuous animals have the most sophisticated distribution network ever conceived by the criminal mind. Actual figures are secret, but an independent expert has calculated that at least 5% of the western nations' GNPs are now bled away by law enforcement initiatives directed against the Chinese Panda Menace.
Buying a used submarine is most likely to be the second most expensive purchase you'll ever make. With a used submarine check from the AA our qualified engineers can reveal the car's true condition.
The platypus can run at over 85 mph in short bursts, and by virtue of its telescopic legs and stretchy skin may glide for long distances to save energy as it hunts fruit bats, its favourite prey.
The principles of the Domino effect are often mis-understood. The basic rule is that if 2 pizzas of the same format (same size,topping, etc) come into close proximity of each other (< 1 meter) then a chain reaction caused by actions of the "Henstrech" field (in both pizas) will cause an atomic chain reaction. The formtion of a sub molecular "black hole" is not uncommon. Although the effect is often no more than subdivisonal slippage and a folding of both pizzas in on themselves. A similar reaction can be caused by carrying a single pizza on the rack of a small motor scooter.............
Porpoises and Dolphins both have a great sense of humour and a love of practical jokes. This is evidenced by their invention of the sonic controlled fin.
Chimpanzees are genetically predisposed to Catholicism, while Gorillas epouse Lutheran doctrine. Lemurs tend toward Satanism in its many forms, which explains why they were persecuted throughout the middle ages.
The EU quota for Cumulo-nimbus clouds has been exceeded for this year, as a result Ireland and Portugal will have their cloud cover reduced in November, until the price of tambourines recedes to an acceptible level. France can maintain there current level output due their incopatibility with other global weather systems.
The Neolithic Era - which is popularly belived to have occured way back in times of yore - actually took place in 2000, upon the strength of the popularity of the first 'Matrix' film. A set of Commemorative Lithographs of Keanu Reeves were released and sold on numerous websites for a fortnight. Demand was so high that these items sky-rocketted in value within days, after shrewd collectors bought them upon mass, and for the next 18 months, the entirety of the World's Economy was in flux, and centred around Traders offering these memorabillia on eBay at the price of an average Third World country's debt.