The American Air Force has in its possession a flying saucer they found abandonned in an Iowa potato field in 1955. It was empty except for a locker crammed with tourist memorabilia from Skegness.

I've been suffering from skegness for years. Every day I feel more and more skeggy.

Whales thrive on the occasional treat of crude oil, which provides essential organic minerals and makes for a glossy coat.

And I am not sorry for being so bold.