mc5 - ... so help me God.

I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...

I invented the preposition fishing rod, but it never caught 'on'.

I invented a canvas house for mothers but I couldn't get a patent.

I invented a new spaceship but it never got off the ground.

I invented the birthday.

I also patented monarchy, but they refuse to pay me royalties... Groan