My doctor is ten-pin bowling champion of the world. His entire vocabulary consists of the phrase "The machines are digging".

It is obligatory in Latvia to greet everyone by saying "Hello Irene", except your spouse, to whom you may say "Hello Iain".

Entertainment at its best comes in the form of a London party magician called "Sando the Grate". He had an assistant called Janet, but she kinda got cut up a bit, without the putting-back-together.

The proof of the pudding is on the scoresheet.

One day, the future of the human race will be decided by a game of croquet between an animated doormat and a jar of chutney. It's going to be a draw.