mc5 - ... so help me God.

[I did not submit the above] furthermore, I have never told an untruth and sobriety becomes me.

Lord Byron presented this haiku to his mistress on the eve preceding his death:
Some night I'll whisper
[I Love You] posthumously
Just to hear you scream

Falstaff

[GUFFAWS!!!]

Dunx

I am a man of constant sorrow.

Tuj

I keep my genitals in a jar of formaldehyde.

Dunx

Never accept strong drink from Tuj, especially if there is an olive in the glass.

Dunx

Penguins will run on lemon juice if fish are unavailable, although their mileage will be reduced.