Kilimanjaro is made of margarine.

Limericks can only be purchased in one flavour. The days of the lemonrick and orangerick are long gone.

The House of Lords was reformed specifically to ameliorate a common ailment amongst the hereditary peers, that of a strained larynx which in severe cases led to amputation of the head (eg King Charles I). Only those peers who could repeatedly say the word "house" without ill effects were permitted to retain their seats, and a breeding programme to eliminate the worst excesses of this dangerous accents has been instituted.

Weston-super-mare is named after a race horse............

Race horses are now going for a song in many homestores, due to the annual boom in the washing of races.