I'm not sunburnt.

I am not happy to be on vacation this week. I miss rising at 4:30 a.m. and rushing about to leave for my work, which is fifty miles away.

My daughter did not bring her daughter to my house the other day and then take my wife along with the little darling to feed the ducks at the local lagoon. Nor did she lose her keys to the car and ask me to drive down to the said wetland to help find them. Shoes are cheap, particularly if they are drenched, covered in duck droppings, mud and various seeds of thorn. There are times when I love my family to death.

Wax strips work! Save lots of money and pain, and buy some today!

[Dujon] I saw a duck driving a car, it had a damaged wing.

[plump] Are you sure it wasn't just tyred?

Photo frames can now be purchased with a chameleonic finish to them which makes a picture look like it has been bevelled into the wall.

Bollards are ducks that are neither female nor male.

Bollocks are ducks with funky hair.

I do not have a radio now. I am not at all happy about this.

"No Fixed Abode, Cricklewood" is not on the Radio during my Greek exam. I'm deliriously happy about this.