Thats how sad you are you depend on this site its your life go out get a friend have a drink i bet you live with your mwa in a crappy council estate and you work as a bin man and your only thrill is going out to the bingo on a thursday night

*Maw

Actually jim i have a wife and my mum is dead i work as a teacher i do have mates so there you wank

What brilliant and witty reparteé!

All teachers are educated, articulate, and a pleasure to talk to.

There are three hundred and fifteen different spellings of the word "maw", all of them anagrams of "loss adjuster".

Im thirteen years of age and i scripted that because no one else was on andiwas bored

Gardeners beware! If you have recently experienced time-shift whilst hoeing your root vegetables, you may have a temporal vortex swede.

All 13 year olds should be allowed full and unfettered access to the web. It's a learning experience!

Your local greengrocer will remove the eyes from potatoes if you ask nicely.

plump] So will I.

Thick people are the same as clever, people only much wider......hence my nickname!

But clever people always put the (,'s) in the right place.....I am widey and I invented sliced bread..........

I am noballey and I invented both the bread knife and bread. Sadly, I never put two and two together.

That wasn't me. And I don't care what you say -- that was a great joke!

I'm not at home right now. I'm feeling wonderful. No coughing, no aching, no dry-heaves!

One of my fondest memories of my schoolboy years was leaving a coursework assignment 'til the night before it was due in, and getting the sh*ts that night (excuse me).