Who are you and why are you on this site if were loosers then why are you on this

i stumbled oto it and dont talk to me like that at least ive got a life

Shut it i do have a life and if you dont shut it ill kick you a*** you little c***

Does your mummy tell you not to put the swear word you stupid arse

I dont want to get kicked of

Thats how sad you are you depend on this site its your life go out get a friend have a drink i bet you live with your mwa in a crappy council estate and you work as a bin man and your only thrill is going out to the bingo on a thursday night

*Maw

Actually jim i have a wife and my mum is dead i work as a teacher i do have mates so there you wank

What brilliant and witty reparteé!

All teachers are educated, articulate, and a pleasure to talk to.

There are three hundred and fifteen different spellings of the word "maw", all of them anagrams of "loss adjuster".

Im thirteen years of age and i scripted that because no one else was on andiwas bored

Gardeners beware! If you have recently experienced time-shift whilst hoeing your root vegetables, you may have a temporal vortex swede.

All 13 year olds should be allowed full and unfettered access to the web. It's a learning experience!

Your local greengrocer will remove the eyes from potatoes if you ask nicely.

plump] So will I.

Thick people are the same as clever, people only much wider......hence my nickname!

But clever people always put the (,'s) in the right place.....I am widey and I invented sliced bread..........

I am noballey and I invented both the bread knife and bread. Sadly, I never put two and two together.

That wasn't me. And I don't care what you say -- that was a great joke!

I'm not at home right now. I'm feeling wonderful. No coughing, no aching, no dry-heaves!

One of my fondest memories of my schoolboy years was leaving a coursework assignment 'til the night before it was due in, and getting the sh*ts that night (excuse me).

Seedless grapes were originaly developed by Arthur Pollwick in 1907 whilst working in the French town of Urvet-la-Monge. He was killed in 1916 on the Western front, whilst trying to develop the "self-seeding" damson for the allied forces.

One of my fondest memories from my schoolboy years was getting a glimps of stocking top from Miss Butley, as she was bending over to pick up a stray piece of chalk from the class room floor.....I got to see a bit more than that too, at a later date, but thats another story!!!

Mrs Dulcie Fishwick of Farnworth, Lancashire, is credited as the first women ever to run a full marathon dressed as Donald Duck (1962).

Napalm makes a great substitute spread if you happen to run out of marmite and it has a similar taste. The USAAF dropped 1.2 million tons of marmite on Vietnam during the Vietnam war, by accident. This was due to a clerical error which came to light several years after the conflict ended!!!!

This sentence may or may not be true, depending on the phase of the moon and who's keeping wicket for England.

The great crested newt is not really that great, being a mere 4" long. It is a very capable hunter though, as any earthworm will testify!

widey] The word women in your sentence was no mistake, I'm sure.

woman, women.............lose the W and you either have a place or some tell tale sign of the future!!!!! Still it was late at night when I posted, plus im stupid. Neither of which helps me very much.............sigh!!!!

Still, at least you play the sitar to Grade 7 competency.

The sitar was invented by deaf people who enjoyed the vibrations but were, unfortunately, clueless about the sound. It was actually invented in Cleveland and then exported to India by persons who were stuck in an airport and just got on the first plane that would take off. It became widely popular in India, especially because of the very long notes it could play. The record is 45 seconds, during which the note played varied slightly in half tones, but only slightly approached a whole tone. The sitar, also, by no coincidence, rhymes with guitar.

Two margarine tubs and an elastic band make an excellent emergency bra.

I'm afraid I'm crap on the Sitar, not bad on Guitar and Bass guitar though! Visit(http://www.papalazarus.com)for some proof!!! I leave all the weird sounding stuff to Mr Sideboard and his amazing synths..........

Nosferatu has a part time job selling ice cream in Seedley, Salford. I often see him on my way to the undertakers. He's a jolly nice chap and can hold 8 ice-cream cones in one hand, nearly a world record!!