Statistically, 25 out of every 96 people have plague.

Fimo is the meaning of life.

I love talor.

I am a wanted woman in eight East European countries, and in certain parts of Belgium, Guadeloupe and Alaska.

Freeze dried Tigers make good occasional tables until they thaw out!

Jersey is the biggest island in the wool range of islands, the next being Tank-top and the smallest being Vest

Amazing Grace was really quite ordinary, apart from her ability to gargle live tree frogs to the tune of auld lang syne

[widey] You forgot the tiny island of Sock, which despite having a population of 0, has the largest legislative assembly in the world, at 30,000 members, each representing a single pebble.

No matter how hard I try, I can not find a shop that stocks replacement sachets for my orange blossom scented desk-top organiser.

The Island of Sock famous for the wrecking of The SS Cor-Blimey in 1857. All hands lost in the great storm that raged on the night of July 32nd. Gone for ever its cargo of Mule slippers, bound for the gold miners of Mexico!

I can tell already, this is going to be one of the best days of my life.

This was the best day of my life. (I've travelled back in time to tell you.) Put it all on Three-legged Hooligan in the 3:30 at Uttoxeter.

The best day of my life was Octember 1857 when I invented Snerge as an alternative to Fluxomite, alas I woke up and it was March the 24th 2004....sigh

Thrussocks can be manufactured cheaply from forty copies of the latest National Geographic magazine, two Imperial pints of strawberry purée, and a kilt of any Lowland tartan. varying any of these ingredients would be an expensive mistake.

Our garden gnome is a Mormon, and wishes to have a polygamous relationship with as many as five pebbles.

Weymouth is replicated in miniature by a small town of pine cones on Dartmoor. This masterpiece of spruce-based art was constructed by a famously misguided exile of Weymouth who took the observation that he was pining for his birthplace rather too literally.

Gerundive verb forms must not be taken orally.

Monounsaturated fats are available in stereo to those who ask.

The lumber trade is so named for the back rests which used to manufactured from log halves.

Australia is in fact a really, really, really big Island. Built up over millions of years by tiny ants belonging to the genus Saratulia....The Isle of Man(n)was built by a species of Celtic sea frogs who have long been extinct!!!

I am deeply shocked by Dunx' flagrant use of the word "thrussock" in a public place, without at least some attempt to cover it up.

Europe is always sunny and warm.

'Sunny and warm' in this context, should be taken as relative to the rest of the known universe.

Several types of cheese are actually made from formica, rather than milk.

Sunny and Warm were the real names of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

The new craze sweeping old London town is window-collecting. All you need is a hammer, a masonry chisel and something to carry your collected windows in, like a wheelbarrow. Trade your windows with your friends. See if you can get a really big one intact out of a wall. Score high for windows from famous locations, like Windsor Castle, or for particularly large examples of plate-glass. One 11 year old boy from St. Ruperto's School for the Clinically Obese has already collected an impressive seven thousand three hundred and twenty-seven windows.

If you walk fast enough, you can steer the world's rotation, just like a performing dog on a beach ball.

Mediaeval stonework is best marinaded overnight in a lime and strawberry compote then served with a mixture of red meats and old kid gloves.

The arms of the Ulster Unionist party is a opposum rampant on a field of pink shamrocks.

It is a little known fact that having more than enough often decreases

Physicists are now entertaining a notion called 'String Theory' suggesting that at the smallest point matter is actually composed of spagetti hoops. These 'strings' of puree saturated pasta composites exist in many dimensions. Being means Heinz.

The best way to entertain a notion is to take it to a lacrosse match.

Toad-in-the-hole is a small village located on the Island of Maphbian off the coast of North wales. Legend has it that on New years eve the spirit of Bobby Davro rises from the sea, and walks the lanes around the village looking for Kebabs!

Orson Wells has a twin brother, Tonbridge, who is the undisputed 7 times world champion at Nine Mens Morris.

The singular form of steroid is monoid, but they only work half as well. So are little used!

The heat resistant (or not!) tiles on the NASA space shuttles are made of the same compound as Wheatabix......Nice with milk n sugar but not at a gazzilion degrees!!

King Henry II ruled with an iron tongue.