Our garden gnome is a Mormon, and wishes to have a polygamous relationship with as many as five pebbles.

Weymouth is replicated in miniature by a small town of pine cones on Dartmoor. This masterpiece of spruce-based art was constructed by a famously misguided exile of Weymouth who took the observation that he was pining for his birthplace rather too literally.

Gerundive verb forms must not be taken orally.

Monounsaturated fats are available in stereo to those who ask.

The lumber trade is so named for the back rests which used to manufactured from log halves.

Australia is in fact a really, really, really big Island. Built up over millions of years by tiny ants belonging to the genus Saratulia....The Isle of Man(n)was built by a species of Celtic sea frogs who have long been extinct!!!

I am deeply shocked by Dunx' flagrant use of the word "thrussock" in a public place, without at least some attempt to cover it up.

Europe is always sunny and warm.

'Sunny and warm' in this context, should be taken as relative to the rest of the known universe.

Several types of cheese are actually made from formica, rather than milk.

Sunny and Warm were the real names of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid

The new craze sweeping old London town is window-collecting. All you need is a hammer, a masonry chisel and something to carry your collected windows in, like a wheelbarrow. Trade your windows with your friends. See if you can get a really big one intact out of a wall. Score high for windows from famous locations, like Windsor Castle, or for particularly large examples of plate-glass. One 11 year old boy from St. Ruperto's School for the Clinically Obese has already collected an impressive seven thousand three hundred and twenty-seven windows.

If you walk fast enough, you can steer the world's rotation, just like a performing dog on a beach ball.

Mediaeval stonework is best marinaded overnight in a lime and strawberry compote then served with a mixture of red meats and old kid gloves.

The arms of the Ulster Unionist party is a opposum rampant on a field of pink shamrocks.

It is a little known fact that having more than enough often decreases

Physicists are now entertaining a notion called 'String Theory' suggesting that at the smallest point matter is actually composed of spagetti hoops. These 'strings' of puree saturated pasta composites exist in many dimensions. Being means Heinz.