Her Majesty the Queen had a surprise Christmas hit with the song "Easy Tiger" in 1952, although this record has sadly been forgotten. I found a copy of it in a vintage music store last Easter and plan to release a garage re-mix version next Monday. I at least guarantee that it will be better than "Mysterious Girl".

Sergei Prokofiev taught sewing, until he discovered how to compose music whilst humming along to very boring silent movies during the First World War, when there was a shortage of cinema pianists in Russia.

When taken as a suppository, strawberries have been found to cure gout.

Tigers prefer mango biscuits.

Tragically, Tony the Tiger is a diabetic.

"The Twelve Days of Christmas" is actually a skit written by a sarcastic bailiff.

Grapes think they're sooooo clever...

The Emperor Caligula made fairycakes and bred kittens, two special talents which he passed on to his nephew, Nero. Nero was very fond of ballet.

Greece is a myth invented by the Chinese.

Teatowels soaked in balsamic vinegar have been known to bring the deceased back to life.

Angora rabbits are actually sheep bred on wheatgrass, fabric softener and Daz.

Cabbage are a dying art. Each one is meticulously hand-crafted by 20 specially trained octopi, which is why they are such a delicacy in Bulgaria.

My hat, it has three corners. Hence it being my hat.