Hitting my sisters and going "Bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother bother (etc)" in a high-pitched Hampstead squeak brings me no joy in life.

monosodium glutamate hasn't.

Have you ever wondered what your guinea pigs do while you are away at work? Ruth Maddock has the answer!

There are only about three hundred authentic humans left on the planet. All the others are actually aliens pretending to be human, each of whom thinks they're the only one. That's the trouble with tourists, they destroy everything they touch.