I grow enormous petit pois.

The adjectival phrase "lip-smacking" is to be banned on the grounds that it encourages lip abuse.

Nature has yet to determine its emotional response to my personal vacuum.

Petit pois are a euphemism in Brazil.

I have a pet worm, and I have named him Willy. I often stretch my Willy between two lamp-posts when the wind is blowing strongly. When the wind hits the right resonant frequency, my Willy starts to vibrate, creating a tuneful humming noise that can be heard for miles around. My worm is safely at home whenever I do this.

[Btd] That was the most boring, unfunny post I've read in months. Don't ever come in this room again.

In Spain there is a Juan born every minute.