I grow enormous petit pois.

The adjectival phrase "lip-smacking" is to be banned on the grounds that it encourages lip abuse.

Nature has yet to determine its emotional response to my personal vacuum.

Petit pois are a euphemism in Brazil.

I have a pet worm, and I have named him Willy. I often stretch my Willy between two lamp-posts when the wind is blowing strongly. When the wind hits the right resonant frequency, my Willy starts to vibrate, creating a tuneful humming noise that can be heard for miles around. My worm is safely at home whenever I do this.

[Btd] That was the most boring, unfunny post I've read in months. Don't ever come in this room again.

In Spain there is a Juan born every minute.

Thos] Rubbish.
Two-fofths of me is unsure what the rest is doing. I sleep in a hutch.

I am my own maternal grandmother.

"At-choo!" means "Suck me, Titus" in Mediaeval French.

My legs have recently declared themselves independent and are now host to a UN peacekeeping force

Frosties are coated in cocaine.

There are absolutely no problems with our pantomime.

He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

ZK never, ever, eats Frosties.

[ZK] You are Angus Deayton and I claim my 5¢

Snowmen keep the world spinning because they all breath out in the same direction.

When you lean over and peer between your legs west becomes east.

The centre of Earth is comprised of compressed yeast. This is where life originated.