West London does not have one single laundrette in it.

Like "Budapest", the word "London" is a concatenation of the names of the two cities that make it up. Lon is a high city, where rich folk gather in white clothes to play heavenly music on glass harmonicas, whereas Don, low down and poor, is mostly brown, full of rats and unattended babies.

As well as calling the faithful to prayer, muezzins have to do a little dance, based on Big Bird's moves in Sesame Street.

For the last ten years of her life, Queen Victoria subsisted on nothing but candied peel.

Extroverts can only turn left in Hollywood, as all rights are reserved.