< / l i e > George Bush was recently beaten in an intelligence test by a monkey.
< l i e>Hargreaves has recently had to fight to get a controversial contemporary new book published called Little Mr Miss - the publishers felt it was a little too much information for children, and bought Madonna's book instead.

Each morning I am rudely awakened by the frantic Boom tish, Boom tish of our local one man band being chased up the street by the neighbours dog

I used to be a one man band but I split up after my legs decided on a solo career.

Why are my bed springs so rusty?

I used to work in an optitians but I got thrown out for making a spectacle of myself.