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... so help me God.
help
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth...
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Tina
I worked in an athletic shoe factory when one day I was terminated for a slip of the tongue.
Dujon
Indeed, Tina; I used to be a script writer, but the boss gave me the hard word.
Dujon
At one stage I was an 'illumination' technician, but I wasn't bright enough.
Tina
In my youth, I joined a hip acting company, but I couldn't make the scene.
Bob the dog
Gimmie, gimme, gimme a man after midnight.
Boolbar
At midnight every night I turn into a goat for 5 seconds. This explains the cheese in my shoes in the morning.
DrQu+xum
</lie> [ZK] Ah - another Tom Lehrer fan? <lie>
I worked in a music shop until I was drummed out.
Zooological Keeper
[DrQ] I once shot a man by mistake, believing him to be a large, flesh-coloured squirrel.
< /l i e>Was someone going to make a separate game for the Job Pun thing? I thought I read that somewhere.
Fat German
[ZK] Yes, I was. I did it last week.
Angus Prune
There is nothing I enjoy more, and indeed all the world seems in tune, when I'm poisoning pigeons in the park.
DrQu+xum
When it's Fiesta time in old Guadala
hhckhhckhhckhhckhh
ara...then I long to be back in old Me
hhckhhck
ico.
Kim
I hold your hand in mine, dear, I press it to my lips.
LotUS
I have a friend in Minsk, who has a friend in Pinsk, whose friend in Omsk has friend in Tomsk with friend in Akmolinsk.
Riff
Sharks gotta swim and bats gotta fly; I gotta love one woman 'till I die.
Kim
There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium,
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium......
DrQu+xum
Thank you. For my first encore....
Zooological Keeper
The Wild West
is
where I wanna be.
DrQu+xum
I'm the old dope peddler, with my powdered happiness.
Zooological Keeper
Oh, poll tax, how I love ya, how I love ya, my dear old poll tax.
Kim
So long Mom, I'm off to drop the bomb, so don't wait up for me.
LotUS
I'd rather marry a duck-billed platypus, than end up like old Oedipus Rex.
Angus Prune
I got it from Agnes.
Poisoned Pigeon
I heard her cookings lousy and her hands are clammy!
Riff
We will all go together when we go, every Hottentot and every Eskimo.
Kim
Blacken my eye, set fire to my tie, as we dance to the Masochism Tango.
[Is this actually going anywhere?]
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