mc5 - ... so help me God.

Zooological Keeper

I used to be a human cannonball, but they wouldn't fire me, so I lost my job. :)

DrQu+xum

I used to be a zooological keeper, but there were claws in my contract that led to my release.

Boolbar

I was hoping for promotion at the mail order apple seed company, but I was pipped to the post.

Tina

In desperation I took a job in a bakery. I just needed the dough.

Tina

I worked bottling natural water, but lost my job in the spring.

DrQu+xum

[Tina] But did you really knead the dough?

Tina

I lost my job as a medium when I went through a bad spell.

Boolbar

I used to drill for oil, but it got too boring.

Boolbar

Then I became a spy, but the work bugged me.

Boolbar

I also looked after a herd of deer, but the job paid badly. I didn't have two bucks to rub together.

DrQu+xum

[Boolbar] I'm sure the bucks wouldn't have appreciated being rubbed together either....
I used to be the gasman for a local stock car team, but that was the pits.