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News Has Come To Harvard
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An annotated list of recently discovered elements to add to the periodic table.
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Carpedium
An element rich in quantum weirdness that simply disappears if you don't grab it.

[Raak, re: Darwinium] I'm putting you on notice that I intend to steal that for something.
[Projoy] I'm already thinking about a short story for the back page of Nature.
Bosphorus
An element, salts of which are used in Turkish baths.
Roadieum
Mostly found in rock formations. Capable of absorbing its own atomic weight in carbon-attached hydroxyl group compounds, but tends to sweat and emit a noxious odour when subjected to energy.
Sillycon
An element often used by dirty, rotten scoundrels.
Chimchimony
The special name for an isotope of Shermanium.
Requium
An element that is, sadly, no longer in existence.
Meum and Tuum
A pair of closely related elements which only honest chemists can separate.
Henricrum
A substance that is very rarely available, as you can't get the wood, you know.
Proactinium
Useful element in most experiments. When treated with care, will remind you of the date of the experiment, set up the lab beforehand and write up the notes afterwards. Can get overexcited. Occasionally becomes unstable. [Projoy] Top notch.
Auntiemoney
An element often inherited from a parent's spinster sister.
Harmonium
An element for which the number of neutrons in each isotope is an integer multiple of the number of neutrons in the smallest isotope
Desideratum
The element that everyone wants.
Offwivum
Element used in the construction of Carion films.
Arsonic
Highly combustible element, favoured by fire setters.
Gophur
An element you can get to do anything.
Sliver
The thinnest element known to science.
Led
An element used in the manufacture of zeppelins.
Nowyusium
An element with an extremely short half-life.
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