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An annotated list of recently discovered elements to add to the periodic table.
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Crypton
An element whose atomic structure makes it seem like another element. Often used by (or on) the intelligence services.
Aeon
A radioactive noble gas with a very long half-life.
Akron
An ignoble gas found exclusively in the industrial wasteland of Ohio's Cuyahoga Valley.
Antimoney
The more of this element you have, the poorer you get.
Sanitarium
An element necessary to restore good health
Um
A short and meaningless element, often found punctuating long chains of other molecules.
[Juxt] That's my favourite amongst some very stiff competition.
Rumtumtiddleumtum: the most stable isotope of poohshum.
Ultimatum
The last discovered element, or else.
Hilversum
An element formerly used in the manufacture of radios. If someone offers you an antique radio, check its authenticity by looking for the word "Hilversum" written on the tuning dial.
tintinnabulum
A metallic element, often used in the manufacture of ringing bells.
Euphonium
A constituent element of brass.
Columbarium
An element used in the preservation of cremated remains.
Parumpapumpum
An element related to tympanum, known for its percussive properties.
Carpedium
An element rich in quantum weirdness that simply disappears if you don't grab it.

[Raak, re: Darwinium] I'm putting you on notice that I intend to steal that for something.
[Projoy] I'm already thinking about a short story for the back page of Nature.
Bosphorus
An element, salts of which are used in Turkish baths.
Roadieum
Mostly found in rock formations. Capable of absorbing its own atomic weight in carbon-attached hydroxyl group compounds, but tends to sweat and emit a noxious odour when subjected to energy.
Sillycon
An element often used by dirty, rotten scoundrels.
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