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Ex Libri Bardus
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Summarise a novel you have read in one sentence. Extra points for smugness, pretentiousness, sarcasm and double back-flips. Ending move as standard.
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The Koran
"Har, pagh Hegh!" ("Believe, or die!")
Angela's Ashes
Being poor and hungry in Ireland is depressing, who'd have guessed?
The Mabinogion
Unpronounceable people do unbelievable things.
The Bible
Beginning, middle, end mostly nasty.
The Perfection of Wisdom in 100,000 Lines
Nothing is real.
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