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Ex Libri Bardus
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Summarise a novel you have read in one sentence. Extra points for smugness, pretentiousness, sarcasm and double back-flips. Ending move as standard.
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Treasure Island
Arr, Jim lad, it be Talk Like a Pirate Day every day, so it be.
The Wizard of Oz
Dorothy didn't dream it!
A Tale of Two Cities
Life before Eurotunnel
And Then We Came To The End
Life's a depressing treadmill
The War of the Worlds
A salutary lesson for all Martians on the perils of failing to get the correct inoculations before travelling abroad.
Tarka the Otter
It's about an otter called Tarka.
Mill on the Floss
Absolutely nothing to do with dentistry.
Lord of the Flies
Boys will be boys!
Ulysses
Dublin - the Ramblers' Guide.
The Lesbian S&M Safety Manual
Not just for lesbians.
Madame Bovary
Marry in haste, repent at leisure.
Mr Polly
Nobody mention Monty Python, please.
The Oxford English Dictionary
Words, words, words.
The Koran
"Har, pagh Hegh!" ("Believe, or die!")
Angela's Ashes
Being poor and hungry in Ireland is depressing, who'd have guessed?
The Mabinogion
Unpronounceable people do unbelievable things.
The Bible
Beginning, middle, end mostly nasty.
The Perfection of Wisdom in 100,000 Lines
Nothing is real.
The Importance of Being Earnest
Victorian sexual double-standards held up to ridicule.
The Chronicles of Narnia
It's all in Plato.
The Jungle Book
Just the bear necessities.
20,000 Leagues Under The Sea
It would never catch on as a package holiday.
Les Misérables
Miserable.
Moby Dick
Ahab versus the Prince of Whales
Bleak House
Its all in the title.
The Time Traveller's Wife
Boy meets girl who has already met him.
Robinson Crusoe
Thank God it's Friday.
The Wind in the Willows
No flatulence remedies to be found within.
Lady Chatterly's Lover
Servant gets in the sack before getting the sack.
Wisden's Cricketers' Almanack
For the boring man in your life.
Tale of Two Cities
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
The 39 Steps
Lucky bastard starts war.
The Horse Whisperer
Bumpkin solves townies' horse (and other) problems.
Eats, Shoots, and Leaves
Nitpicker's of the World Unite!
How Green Was My Valley
Love among the slag heaps.
The God Delusion
I'm the only infallible one, says Dawkins.
On The Beach
Everyone in the whole world dies, except for the unfortunate reader.
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