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Ex Libri Bardus
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Summarise a novel you have read in one sentence. Extra points for smugness, pretentiousness, sarcasm and double back-flips. Ending move as standard.
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Don Giovanni
Adultery lands you in hell, but hey, it's a whole lot of fun.
No Logo
Everything, everywhere, is awful, except for me.
Treasure Island
Arr, Jim lad, it be Talk Like a Pirate Day every day, so it be.
The Wizard of Oz
Dorothy didn't dream it!
A Tale of Two Cities
Life before Eurotunnel
And Then We Came To The End
Life's a depressing treadmill
The War of the Worlds
A salutary lesson for all Martians on the perils of failing to get the correct inoculations before travelling abroad.
Tarka the Otter
It's about an otter called Tarka.
Mill on the Floss
Absolutely nothing to do with dentistry.
Lord of the Flies
Boys will be boys!
Ulysses
Dublin - the Ramblers' Guide.
The Lesbian S&M Safety Manual
Not just for lesbians.
Madame Bovary
Marry in haste, repent at leisure.
Mr Polly
Nobody mention Monty Python, please.
The Oxford English Dictionary
Words, words, words.
The Koran
"Har, pagh Hegh!" ("Believe, or die!")
Angela's Ashes
Being poor and hungry in Ireland is depressing, who'd have guessed?
The Mabinogion
Unpronounceable people do unbelievable things.
The Bible
Beginning, middle, end mostly nasty.
The Perfection of Wisdom in 100,000 Lines
Nothing is real.
The Importance of Being Earnest
Victorian sexual double-standards held up to ridicule.
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