[Fessing Up] I vaguely remember something like what I wrote being done when I was a kid. Could have been Marty Feldman, Could have been ISIRTA. I felt it was time for a retread.
"A mild night, with temperatures 4 to 17 Celsius. That should cover it. We have to do this to cover our arses and avoid litigation. Crap, really. Shit! Was the mike on?
Okay people, it's time to spin the "Weather Wheel". Round and round and round she goes, where she'll end up no-one knows. Okay, that's "scattered showers" on the wheel. Now we throw the "Dart o' Prediction" at the Map and ... Brighton (near as dammit)! So that's "scattered showers in the Brighton Area" and we just need to roll the polyhedral Dice of Time and spin the dreidel of duration ... 5 hours starting at 6pm! While I'm figuring out the rest of Britain's weather, why don't we cut to camera three where Josh Atkins is ready at the bingo ping-pong ball machine to give you today's stock market trends and tips.