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Give quotes that suggests the person would be better seeking more suitable employment.
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I Say, Porter!
You can tell a lot from the label, sir. For example, this one says 'Tesco 2.99', well, that's frankly piss.
Simons Mith
Another inside tip, sir - the second-cheapest wine on the menu always gives the best value for money.
I Say, Porter!
The best vintages can be found in TetraPak
TM
boxes.
Uncle Korky
"Catch!"
Raak
Personally, I'd rather have a pint.
I Say, Porter!
It's called Chateau Lafite because it smells of feet.
I Say, Porter!
Of course, the best wines come from the North East of England.
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