mc5 - The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated

Wore to Ascot a transparent gown

Kim

The resulting mêlée

Caused by said negligée

Turned the once verdant lawn dirty brown

This young woman's gauzy attire The theme is worth developing a little more

Darren

Was based on a thin frame of wire

It was easily bent

To convert to a tent

With a leftover piece for a spire.

Friday night and the eggnogs are free (Well done all, free eggnogs to everybody including Sprangle!)

The young ladies are drunk as can be

Alas, so am I

KagomeShuko

And I want pumpkin pie

Giertrud

But none of these babes bake, you see?

The cult of the hero is flawed (Cheers Marc - jolly generous under the circs :^)

Lesser mortals are easily awed

With gold head and clay feet

They're not quite the elite

They should all be put to the sword

A deep-fried pork pie's just the thing

To make arteries lose their zing

Though the taste is insipid

Rosie

Being quite high in lipid

It will clog our veins with a wring...

There's a show on the old BBC

‘bout a sex-selling young frenchisee (sic)

Dr Who's Billie Piper

Is scared by a viper

Are you sure it's not ITV3?

Simons Mith

I've got an idea for a show:

Called 'How Does Your Garden Grow?'

Its hostess' name's Mary

Rosie

She's big, blond and scary

When brandishing dibber and hoe

I've got an idea for a shoe

That involves pink feathers and glue

Simons Mith

It's most orthopaedic

If somewhat comedic

'cause the size that I need is 'canoe'...

Now that was really nice. Shall I start another?

Rosie

I've got an idea for a jacket Allow me, m'dear.

It's got bling and will cost me a packet

Its ermine-trimmed ruff

Doubles up as a muff

So I'll call it my < Cockney Rhyming Slang > Desmond Hackett </Cockney Rhyming Slang >

[Softers] I think your Desmond Hackett also needs to be old.

My trousers are have broken the mould

They're pink satin and sequined in gold

Though tight in the seat

They make it look neat [pen] yes, I meant to but forgot :o(

When they splat and my bare butt got cold.

Oh Dear, won't you please come inside,

At least 'til the bloodstains have dried

This axe in my head

Is no cause for dread

I'm an extra in 'Frankenstein's Bride'

Excellent!

I once found an eye in my soup

It stared at me through beefy goop

KagomeShuko

My mom said, "It's a pea,"

Giertrud

But I knew it could see

‘cause it blinked – it was Billy the Snoop! (Why me?)

"My dear Watson, I think it was you,"

"Who has spent the weekend sniffing glue"

"What I smoke in my pipe"

Darren

"Is something more ripe"

"(It's a horse of a different hue)"

"It's a 'baccy from old Araby"

"Yon beetle crawlin' in it? It's scaraby"

Ow!

[SM & irach] I got hit twice with that one!Ouch!!

FGZstar

"Belonged to Imhotep"

[penelope] Okay, I'll bite: What is wrong with my first line?

KagomeShuko

Who had lots of pep Sierra Mike - just difficult to rhyme, I think.

Hidden text

Also, what's a "'baccy?"

Oh dear O dear O dear - and we were doing SO well back up there ^^^ :^(

Growing smokeless tobacco at Niles Abbey http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabennae

At submission make sure brain is ON, (Sometimes rhyme and scansion must be ignored for educational purposes ;-)

Lest scansion and rhyme isn't done

the failure to check [SM] I'll try and be kind! 'Araby', with its stress on the second syllable is very hard to rhyme and scan. And the fact that you had to tailor the word for tobacco AND the word for Arabia to make a first line makes me think you were trying too hard whilst ignoring the basics. If it doesn't scan, it, er, doesn't scan.

Can make a train wreck

Keep it simple - lest all wit be gone