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The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated
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And so it begins....
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Software
At the edge of known space
Raak
Which resembles the face
Rosie
Of old Patrick Moore, but with stubble.
Software
While sunning myself on the beach
Simons Mith
I noticed a very fine Peach
Raak
I stroked its soft skin
Simons Mith
[Raak]
Her
soft skin, I was hoping.
Rosie
Surely no sin
Chasty
Then licked off its sweet juicy leach ...
Marc
This beach once was filled with white sand
CdM
But things have not gone as we planned
Rosie
For, as you can see
Software
It's filled with debris
Sierra Mike
Teen beach parties should really be banned
Rosie
It says on the side of this tin
Software
BEWARE: there's traces of nuts within
irach
You could break out in hives
Marc
When the doctor arrives,
Darren
He'll throw the whole lot in the bin.
Juxtapose
I once met a maid from Regina
Limerick challenge: clean
Rosie
Who cherished her old Morris Minor
Will that do, Juxt?
irach
She kept it so clean
Darren
It dazzled the Queen
irach
Whose Bentleys are not any finer
...
[Juxtapose] There...clean as a whistle...
Marc
True Lim'ricks are not to be clean,
penelope
It's tempting to show the obscene
Raak
They must also be witty
BTW, Radio 3 is currently having a competition to compose serious limericks. Maybe we could try one here?
Rosie
Coherent, not bitty
Software
And polished right up to a sheen
Raak
Not only by bread doth man live
Going for a serious limerick. Titter ye not!
irach
Not so much to receive as to give
Rosie
Which lifteth the soul
Software
For those on the dole
penelope
Or those with pock
ets
like a sieve.
Maybe I should apologise...
Rosie
There was a young man from Peru
(pen) No, no, not at all. Pretty good for a Dutch speaker.
Knobbly
Who bought a bright pink cockatoo
Simons Mith
With very long legs
irach
That laid polka dot eggs
Marc
While waving the tail - oh so blue
The parrots of course!
Software
There's thunder and lightning about
CdM
Don't panic. There's no need to shout.
Guido Fawkes
I heard you first time
irach
There's no reason or rhyme
Marc
It’s Thor who have just found his stout
Rosie
My uncle, who lives in Cleckheaton
irach
At snooker, has never been beaten
Darren
His all-out attack
Software
By using the black
Marc
And pot it with super cue treatin’
Marc
The balls that were hit with his cue
Rosie
Followed a path that was true
All right, doesn't quite rhyme.
Juxtapose
His peerless precision
it does in America, Rosie
Raak
Was met with derision
Mac
But from the crowd there came a very loud "BOO"!
Scansion Police
*Ahem*, I think, Mr Mac, we'll just draw a line under this one and call it a warning....
irach
My auntie, who lives in Llangollen
Marc
Complained over legs that were swollen
Software
Her acute phlebitis
Raak
Makes her dance like St. Vitus
CdM
O! How the mighty are follen
No rhymes at all in that one
:-)
Marc
In a nice little village in Kent
Software
The priest found his coffers were spent
Raak
So he held a church fête
irach
Where his needs were all met
Phil
By a choirboy behind the beer tent
Hidden text
Not my greatest scansion, but if French pronunciation is fine, then so is American stress.
Rosie
The good folk of Dwygyfylchi
Rosie
While pond'ring the nature of time
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