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The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated
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And so it begins....
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But instead got a case of Sangría
Those Swedes, they're so boozy
At despatch they're not choosy
Yet, boozeless, they tend to be angrier
My girlfriend from Stockholm, so cute
Played a gay saraband on the flute
I joined in on bass
Wearing taffeta lace
But the talent scout gave us the boot!
The orchestra struck up a tune
The lounge singer started to croon
As I looked at her eyes
To my great surprise
One was purple, the other maroon
While strolling one morning in June
I noticed the Man in the Moon
He looked down at me
Superciliously
'Cos I was walking along with a spoon
The good folk of Accrington, Lancs
Had tattoos of dogs on their shanks
The reason, they claimed,
They were artistic'ly maimed
Was because of the tattooist's pranks sorrysorrysorry
A problem with poodles and collies
Is their fear of Victorian follies
Which makes them pass water
Their legs then grow shorter
And they steal all the little kids' lollies.
If you stand on a hill in the rain
People will say you're insane
And the wetter you get
The longer you'll sit
And you'll never make that train. At least not to MC...
One day while defrosting the fridge
I found on the icecream, a midge
On the butter, a bug
Of green mould, a rug
And another head on London Bridge
Just eat when you're hungry and then,
Eat nowt till you're hungry again
With such a regime
Your rather large beam
Will go; you'll be svelte, and pull men.
There once was a man from Glasgow
Who when fishing, would let a caught bass go
His ichthyo mercy
To them that prefer sea You do better . . . .
Would give him a satisfied glow
It's good to return from the cold
I'm an ex-spy, and I'm getting old
My decoder ring
Just won't sing
[Red Wolf] oopsie ... 3 - yes a mere 3 syllables ... sorry chap - not quite the thing :-) Have another crack at it, eh?
Just ain't enough bling How's that, [Chalky]? Never have been wonderful limericks, ever since hearing "There once was a man from Nantuckett"...
It's plastic and steel, not gold. (RW) Just will not sing, or The bugger don't sing would have done. It's the rhythm.
If I had a heart, I would give u.s.a.
Some poor bugger a chance to live That seems to scan right...
My donated ticker
Sewn in someone who's sicker
Is useless - it leaks like a sieve Difficult rhyme
If your kidneys have suffered from drink
Which caused them to shrivel and shrink
Rent a Kidney Machine
It's sure to clean
Out the stuff that makes your breath stink. Not to say drop down dead. What a delightful subject.
Winter's a great time of year
Let's bring out some egg nog and beer!
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