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The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated
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And so it begins....
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He spins in his grave
His soul we must save
Lest our wit end up dead and entombed.
Top limming all round :-)
There was an old man with no beard
Who said, "It is not, as I feared,
Malign alopecia
But a non-hirsute feature
Sleep-walking where livestock is sheared"
At Bristol, Temple Meads Station
I felt a quick stab of elation
As I ran to my train
I felt it again
But alas - it was mere constipation
The pain in my butt's getting worse
If it gets any worse I might curse
But with this senna pod
Flushing out my whole bod
I may stop being quite so perverse
Let's all sing in praise of the prune
Will the tenors please get in tune
For "Gloria-Il Pruno!"
...poetic license invoked (should actually be "la prugna secca" )
(Sung alla Frank Bruno)
Will sound more like Clair de Lune
While trying to put up a shelf
I just realised I was an elf
My tiny physique
Makes six feet of teak
Too heavy to put up myself.
I enjoyed that one :-)
I ordered a chair from IKEA
But instead got a case of Sangría
Those Swedes, they're so boozy
At despatch they're not choosy
Yet, boozeless, they tend to be angrier
My girlfriend from Stockholm, so cute
Played a gay saraband on the flute
I joined in on bass
Wearing taffeta lace
But the talent scout gave us the boot!
The orchestra struck up a tune
The lounge singer started to croon
As I looked at her eyes
To my great surprise
One was purple, the other maroon
While strolling one morning in June
I noticed the Man in the Moon
He looked down at me
Superciliously
'Cos I was walking along with a spoon
The good folk of Accrington, Lancs
Had tattoos of dogs on their shanks
The reason, they claimed,
They were artistic'ly maimed
Was because of the tattooist's pranks sorrysorrysorry
A problem with poodles and collies
Is their fear of Victorian follies
Which makes them pass water
Their legs then grow shorter
And they steal all the little kids' lollies.
If you stand on a hill in the rain
People will say you're insane
And the wetter you get
The longer you'll sit
And you'll never make that train. At least not to MC...
One day while defrosting the fridge
I found on the icecream, a midge
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