mc5 - The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated

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The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated

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And so it begins....

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Is winter arriving at last?

Well if so, let it soon be the past

I don't like the snow

Or the wind that doth blow

It's all a pain in the arse-t Getting 3 points on my poetic licence

[SW] You couldn't fit an "artic blast" in there, then? As it were.

The Bible will tell you the truth

Of the lives of Eve, Esther and Ruth

But as for the rest (Softers) 3? 11.9 more like.

The scribes merely guessed

And made it all up, yea, forsooth.

A fourteen foot pig in my garden

Let loose smelly gas while 'twas fartin' Coat and hat, I know...

This porcine eruption

Caused total disruption

Before getting loose and departin'

I talk to the tulips; they nod

And wonder "Who is this daft sod?"

I never resent them

'Een with their bent stem

I just let them face the firing squad What a cruel world we live in....

Blindfolded he stood ‘gainst the wall

He smoked his last cigarette with gall

This isn't a joke

When a fond farewell toke

Spoils "blind man's buff" for us all!

The bricks of which Summer is made

Cannot be obtained through the trade (blamelewis) Blind man's puff, shurely?

They are salvaged with care

From the cold wintry air

Come shine we’ll make sure they get laid....
Surrounded by walls of destruction

I stand and await my instruction

As to whether or not

To take a quick shot

Hurrah for careers in construction! a bit abstract but it was stalled for a while yer honour...

He stood there aghast at the sight

For surely this could not be right:

This vision; this... thing!

So shapeless, such bling

Jade Goody, half nude - she looked shite! (apols for vulagarity)

As a planet the earth's rather small (Phil) Did you mean vulvagarity?

So beware, those of you who are tall

With your head in the clouds

It's like wearing shrouds

Now let this be a aware to us all

The snowstorm has blinded my eyes

And the wind whips away all my cries

My limbs have gone numb

This trip really was dumb

Next time it's McDonald's for fries

Pretending I like heavy metal

I bought a uranium kettle

But the weight of the water

Was more than it ought-a

And now I don't feel in fine fettle

The dangerous love of fine words

Is a trait of the geeks and the nerds (Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!)

These anal retentives [UK] <panto> Oh no you're not! </panto>

Resist all incentives

I'd say its strictly for t'birds

You call me a bibliophile

And also a nerd - after while

And maybe a geek

But I know I'm a freak

I can sprint an eighteen-minute mile.

At Redemption (SF convention last weekend) there were a couple of flyers for another convention (Year of the Teledu) with just the first line of a limerick on them. Alas, they never got finished over the weekend. Can we do better? Here is how far they had got when I last saw them:

A teledu of my acquaintance		A Sumatran badger that stank
Has purchased a gaudy conveyance		Lived deep in a hole, dark and dank
It's painted bright blue		. . . . . . . .
And filled with beef stew		. . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . . . . . .		. . . . . . . . . . . .

A teledu of my acquaintance
Has purchased a gaudy conveyance
It's painted bright blue
And filled with beef stew
Its odour holds all in abeyance.

A Sumatran badger that stank
Lived in a deep hole, dark and dank
Its one pride and joy
.......

Was an old Dinky toy
In fact, a Centurian tank...moving on

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