mc5 - The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated

To flip its proverbial lid

We were far out at sea on a raft

Which in retrospect seems rather daft

And, without a sound,

A whale had us downed

So we harpooned the bugger, and laughed.

How funny to murder a whale! [Rosie] ;-)

Raak

Its meat makes us hearty and hale

And, furthermore,

Under Japanese law

It's quite legal a whale to impale

You can also have fun sticking pigs

Up the tailpipe of old Russian MiGs

As the engine ignites

And the crackling's alight

You'll have roast pork that everyone digs

This morning I stood on the scales

They showed I'd drunk too many ales

I Say, Porter!

It's time for abstention

AA intervention

penelope

Liposuction if all of that fails

Perhaps I could eat fewer pies

Juxtapose

To lessen the girth of my thighs

They're tree-trunks of blubber

Feeling just like foam rubber

I guess I'm just Fat Bastard size

While taking a break in Albania

I saw something even more zanier

And what is more

As I opened the door

Raak

I smelled a huge bunch of gerania.

One day, on a barge in Port Said

A floating French letter I spied

It proved hard to read

Mired in spilt seed

Chasty

From a limb - about three inches wide

When born in the year of Ding Hai

You'll live to a factor of pi

Kim

Both you and your daughter

Do things you di'n' oughta

Phil

With bears, lions, tigers. Oh my!

Uncle Korky

Is winter arriving at last?

Well if so, let it soon be the past

I don't like the snow

Or the wind that doth blow

It's all a pain in the arse-t Getting 3 points on my poetic licence

[SW] You couldn't fit an "artic blast" in there, then? As it were.

The Bible will tell you the truth

Of the lives of Eve, Esther and Ruth

But as for the rest (Softers) 3? 11.9 more like.

Chalky

The scribes merely guessed

Kim

And made it all up, yea, forsooth.

A fourteen foot pig in my garden

Let loose smelly gas while 'twas fartin' Coat and hat, I know...

This porcine eruption

Caused total disruption

Before getting loose and departin'

I talk to the tulips; they nod

And wonder "Who is this daft sod?"

Juxtapose

I never resent them

'Een with their bent stem

I just let them face the firing squad What a cruel world we live in....

Blindfolded he stood ‘gainst the wall

He smoked his last cigarette with gall