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The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated
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And so it begins....
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He bore a huge load
As if he was set to give birth
At last the new year has arrived
We awake, somewhat bleary eyed
Avoid the first-footers
Repel all crazed looters
Ensure superstition’s survived Enjoying a tasty New Years dish of Black-Eyed Peas! http://southernfood.about.com/library/weekly/aa123198.htm
Make a new resolution each day!
For example: "I plan to turn gay"
Or "Won't fart in bed"
"Pick my nose or see red"
Or "Finish dead limericks", say.
Attendance is starting to wane
We suffer continuous brain-drain
But its not all bad Clunky scansion there, Marc
Count your blessings; be glad
Of our rich verbal legerdemain.
With savoir faire, skill and panache
My boiled potatoes I mash
I'll fry eggs with flair
My souffle floats on air
And my scansion could best be described as a car crash.
There's no way to cheat in this game
The Scansion Police have your name
So please to the line
As we try to refine
It so all of the verse sounds the same
Neuroses I've had in my time
Include one that's a capital crime
but the one that is worst
Involves carnal thirst
For all living things maritime.
An orangey gusset and hem
While out on a date with a squid
So much for preview mode then! Sorry Projoy. And rab, for that matter.
Mine can wait.
An orangey gusset and hem
Makes me feel truly Lib Dem
So I'll stick to the middle
Trying solving this riddle
With the help of my lower brain stem
While out on a date with a squid
My car went into a skid
Too few hands on the wheel
Caused my automobile
To flip its proverbial lid
We were far out at sea on a raft
Which in retrospect seems rather daft
And, without a sound,
A whale had us downed
So we harpooned the bugger, and laughed.
How funny to murder a whale! [Rosie] ;-)
Its meat makes us hearty and hale
And, furthermore,
Under Japanese law
It's quite legal a whale to impale
You can also have fun sticking pigs
Up the tailpipe of old Russian MiGs
As the engine ignites
And the crackling's alight
You'll have roast pork that everyone digs
This morning I stood on the scales
They showed I'd drunk too many ales
It's time for abstention
AA intervention
Liposuction if all of that fails
Perhaps I could eat fewer pies
To lessen the girth of my thighs
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