mc5 - The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated

arrow_circle_left arrow_circle_up arrow_circle_right

The Obligatory Limericks Game Reincarnated

help

And so it begins....

arrow_circle_up

But a jog supersonic

(and that's NOT a mneumonic!)

Radox The Green

Cannot be achieved wearing clogs.

It grows in each corner, like mould

When the air becomes stale, damp and cold

But if rats intervene

Just apply margarine

A rodenticide, so I am told.

If it's butter you seemingly lack,

Then make use of this genius hack:

Find a dandelion field

And ‘neath your chin wield

A small knob of Danish Lurpak

All the poems that ever were written

Can't compare to the new of a kitten

*mew

BIFURCATION!

But "new what?" you may ask | That soprano cry

Well! Let onlookers bask | Could bring tears to the eye

And they'll note that I've just been bitten/And a language that's yet to be written

Hmmm... Let's see if this one goes any better. :)

The most desperate words ever spoken

I exclaimed as I woke in Hoboken:

"Send Marmite! And cheese!"

"And some toasted bread, please"

And a 50p gas meter token!

[CdM] Another flub. 50P? In Hoboken? Woe, lackaday etc 8o)

All the dreams of my youth are long faded

All my sensuous tastes are long jaded

Radox The Green

I shall lie in my bed

And watch TV instead

Then wink out, just the way the display did

Now the arc of my plan's more a spike

What's that? Speak into the mike

A bang then a whimper

A fart and a simper

(And the heckler can get on his bike)

[R,R,C,P] Now that was a limerick!

(CdM) Agreed. Top-drawer.

Can the real Mister Shady stand up?

So that we can present the cup

And a small piece of paper

Freshly dropped by a vaper

Which proves his real name is Miles Jupp

I am a Morniverser

May I revise as I think you put a glow worm in the limericks (and vice versa)
I play in the Morniverse games

Wearing gold-plated spectacle frames

But have noticed of late

That they're losing their plate

So I guess it's time for new frames.

Be young and be foolish, he said.

So do it now, before you are dead (Pj) Yeah, funny stuff, alcohol. A small molecule that goes round the brain pulling out a few plugs.

Because once you're deceased

Turns out everything's leased

Sink your gold in a cask lined with lead.

O! Were it not for my vanity

I'd eschew this vexatious insanity

I’d cast off my qualms

Call out saws; sing out psalms

I'd live in total inanity

Oh, I wish I'd looked after me teeth^[1]

'cos for now they just need a wreath

All the toffees I chewed

And the plaque I accrued

Means they're not even fit to bequeath To some lucky relative, obvs. :-)

On the day that the music ceased living

Radox The Green

I remember that I was then giving

Out newspapers, news

Of the dry levee blues

And such heartbreak went deep like a shivving

While rooting around in my shed

Up with which I soon got fed

Then off with which pissed

Hidden text

[RtG, P, g, C] Beautiful— particularly the lovely and unexpected closing line. I am not sure if the echo of “shiver” from the opening verse of AP was deliberate (though, knowing Chalky, probably yes), but whether intentional or serendipitous, it was icing on the cake.

I was - you - grabbed my wrist (pass the parse-l)

Which down balloon went like a lead

The legs that I grow in my garden

Need concrete and sun for to harden

And when they are done

With concrete and sun

I'll be stuck; can't move; beg pardon.

I'm refined: I drink sherry and port.

A mixture my grandmother taught

Though she'd also opine

That strawberry wine

Was poison, and lands you in court.

Be awatch, for the tigers may come

Sneak up and bite on your bum

If they come from the side

You’ll be swiftly de-thighed

Leaving one buttock startlingly numb

The most perfect example of karma

Occurs if one unmasks a llama

When their cover is blown

They despairingly moan

They love to make it a drama

Alpacas are much more relaxed

E'en when their patience is taxed

Can I suggest a tweak?:
Though their patience must sorely be taxed
By the wool in their eyes

And so it's no surprise

That they're calmest when recently waxed

So may we now welcome the spring?

Or is it but premature bling?

Should we really focus

On tulips and crocus

Late April, O where wert thy schwing?

Although last month was awfully cruel

Often I come back and re-read these lines, and find the scansion/stress in my head is less clear on the page. :(

Although last month was awfully cruel

So cold it used up my fuel

("...all my fuel"?)
The forecast's Set Fair

For somewhen; for somewhere

So will now head south-east to Kitzbühel

Take one pound of self-raising flour

And some free range eggs into the shower.

Add dandruff shampoo

And a bath bomb or two

Then bake Gas Mark 4 for an hour

I unwisely deployed a molossus

A poetical speed-bump to boss us (Pj) That was difficult

The confounded thing

Took an almighty swing

And impacted my smarting probscis

When it's Friday you don't seem to know it

Then you're told it's the Day Of The Poet

But most say "Thank God"

This verse is not cod Invoking polari

But the lim'rick's a cramped space to show it.

The bin round has started and, phew,

Now diesel fuel's refused - who knew?

Ah! No-one will touch it

But they will take mutt-shit

So my dog's joined the diesel-fed crew.

[Bismarck] Excellent!
It's raining, oh misery, woe.

My home's flooded, oh where shall I go?

On second thoughts, strike the "oh".

Try the roof, for a while

Bed down on pantile?

Failing that, well, just go with the flow

I've acquired a decanter for whisky

But there’s no call to be so tsk-tsk-y

Let's have no half measures

Simply the pleasures

arrow_circle_down

Want to play? Online Crescenteering lives on at Discord